Okay, now don’t read the title of this post and say, “Yeah, I know that.” I’ve known this for a long time, but I still struggle with it, so you may too.

This isn’t one of those big youth ministry leadership lessons that is easy to grasp and start putting into practice. It’s one of those that is hard to really understand and live by.

Why? Because the root of this issue is fear and insecurity.

I think a lot of youth pastors still live and lead with fear in their hearts. I know I sure do. It’s hard not to worry about whether students will like the event, whether parents will get upset about something you do or don’t do, and whether your senior pastor will approve.

Thinking about all the people your ministry impacts is important. But that line between thinking about them and stressing out about them is often very blurry.

That’s why I use this leadership principle as a blum line in my own life to help figure out when I’m stressing out too much. And the principle is simple: You don’t need permission from your followers to lead.

A leader is just that–a leader. He or she sets the pace, is ahead of the pack, paves the way and sets the course. You cannot lead from behind. You also cannot lead from the middle of the pack, always leaning on other’s opinions.

I’ve seen youth pastors that are literally paralyzed by others’ opinions and reactions. Instead of leading, they constantly worry about what students and adults will think about every decision they make. They feel that they need permission to do anything, so they are constantly asking for permission and changing plans based on anybody’s and everybody’s opinion. This is called fear of man, and it’s rooted in insecurity.

If this is resonating with you and you think you might struggle with this, take a step back and pray. Ask the Lord to show you those insecurities and to increase your faith and trust first in Him. Ask Him to continue to give you a heart for the students you minister to while He also gives you the boldness and confidence He has called you to live and lead by. And spend time meditating on the “Who I Am in Christ” scriptures.

God has called you to be a leader, not a people pleaser. Servant leadership still requires boldness and stepping out in faith. Involve others in your leadership and lean on their wisdom and insight, but don’t be paralyzed by their opinions and criticism.

Does this apply to your leadership? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

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