Posts Tagged ‘Leadership’

I met some visitors in church a few weeks ago. I like meeting visitors and making them feel welcome at church.

This couple had been believers for many years and were looking for a new church home. We talked about what they thought about the service and where they lived.

Then I noticed something about the way I was talking. It wasn’t like I had become rude or mean, but something was different. Without realizing it, I got a little weird.

Read the rest of this entry »

Okay, now don’t read the title of this post and say, “Yeah, I know that.” I’ve known this for a long time, but I still struggle with it, so you may too.

This isn’t one of those big youth ministry leadership lessons that is easy to grasp and start putting into practice. It’s one of those that is hard to really understand and live by.

Why? Because the root of this issue is fear and insecurity. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s easy to be an insecure youth pastor.

Think about it. You are the only one in the entire church that “does youth ministry.”  There’s nobody to compare yourself to. There’s no “standard” to say you’re doing a good job, great job, or terrible job.

At the end of the week, who’s to say you did everything you were supposed to? What shows you that your priorities were straight and that you spent your time wisely?

Better yet, what tells you that you did a good job and made a difference?

That’s when insecurity can so quickly set in. With nobody giving you a thumbs up or thumbs down, there’s a temptation to just feel like you’re not doing it right and all your efforts are in vain.

Plus, with no shared standards or common expectations, every expectation any leader or parent might have, quickly becomes the standard they hold you to. You’ll never live up to all their expectations, so a lot of the feedback you actually do hear is, “Why didn’t you do this?” or “How could you possibly let that happen?”

I’m just being honest here. This is tough stuff. So how do you deal with this pressure?

I pray for the Lord’s favor in each of our lives so that we can survive and thrive because of His love, and in spite of our environment. And I know that His mercy and blessing is greater than all the worst the world could throw at us.

The guys over at Cadre Ministries have made one of their many great resources available online for free. Check it out:

The Role of Adults in Student Leadership

I once had the opportunity to work with a youth group that had a solid team of committed adult leaders, but they were very worried about the youth because  nobody would pay attention during the message.

So they had come up with a solid game plan: Adults were posted at each exit to keep students from wandering off, and several adult leaders would sit directly behind the group. As soon as anyone started goofing off during the sermon, one of them would step in and either get them to quite down, or take them out of the service.

Before and after the service, the adults hung out with each other, waiting for their duties to begin.

Extreme measures, and unfortunately, they didn’t work. But what really broke my heart was that these mature Christian leaders, each with a huge heart for students, missed the biggest opportunity to impact students by building relationships before and after the service.

Every possible social scenario eventually happens before or after your youth group, right in your church. From PDA (Public Displays of Affection) to breakups and ackward moments to angry yelling fights, it’s all going to come up eventually. But every one of these moments, big or small, is a priceless ministry opportunity.

Do you ever see a student handle a situation and just wish you could give them a little advice? Maybe they didn’t say “hi” to the new kid and you had an idea on how the could have done that. Or maybe they tried to challenge a friend in their walk with God but ended up spewing judgement on them, and you wanted to encourage them with some ideas on how to be gentler next time.

It’s time to just do it! Here’s how:

• After the fact, find a chance to pull them aside.
• Start with a few questions. Ask about their day first, and ask about what just happened. “Hey, I saw you were trying to encourage Tim over there. Way to go! I was wondering what happened?”
• Listen!
• Share your advice, but don’t use commanding words like, “should” and “you need to.” Instead, offer suggestions and ask for their input. Join them in the journey.

It’s easy, so don’t hold it in anymore. This is where youth ministry’s rubber meets the road. Take advantage of those teachable moments.

Some say America walked away from Christianity decades ago when church turned into habit and Christ became a religion.

For many, being a “Christian” is the family they were born into and simply why they try to live a “good life.”

The reality is that reaching this generation is more complex than trying to “get them back into youth group.” Teens are falling away from the saving knowledge of God’s love, and this trend has been happening for years, so we must be well equipped in our response.

So what can we do?

I believe that there are several principles that we need to follow in this rescue operation:

• Direction: Finding guidence and strength in the Lord
• Understanding: Knowing what makes this generation completely unique
• Relationships: Why we cannot rely on “programs”
• Turning points: Creating meaningful moments with teens

I’ll be addressing each of these in future blog posts. If you haven’t already, I encourage you to subscribe so you won’t miss a thing.

Update: All of the follow-up posts are now available–see links above.

An article on AdvertisingAge about brands and religion really startled me. Martin Lindstrom took Christians into an MRI room and found out that the parts of the brain that get excited about faith also get excited about brands. Then he listed nine components that good brands and religion have in common:

• A clear vision
• A sense of belonging
• An enemy
• Sensory appeal
• Storytelling
• Grandeur
• Evangelism
• Symbols
• Rituals

It’s freightening to think that the marketers and brands of the corporate world that are fighting for our student’s attention and money are using the same tools as the church. They would love for as many teens as possible to become their raving fans. The concerning part is that it doesn’t matter how much sex or violence (or anything else) it takes to do it–they will go as far as they can.

The list is helpful though. Each of these components are great tools to use in our own youth groups to encourage greater involvement from students. A clear vision is especially important to unite and inspire your teens.

We’re not the only ones fighting for our students’ attention. There’s a lot of competition out there.

I made a good decision this weekend, but it took me a bit too long to make it. I decided to stop watching a show I used to love.

Several years ago, I went through a real intense growth period in my Christian life. I was learning a lot from the Lord and learning it fast. One of the decisions I made during that time was that I didn’t want to be entertained by things like sexual jokes, adultery, cursing, vulgarity and cruelty. I knew that God had called me to live with purpose and for Him, and I didn’t want anything coming in my way.

Then my friends started telling me how funny this show is. I stayed away from it for a while, but I finally gave in last month. Man did I love that show! I even finished 28 episodes (2 seasons) in less than a month.

Then recently, in passing, I heard someone mention that they don’t watch the show because of all the garbage in it. At first, I was ready to defend it as a “clean” show–there’s nothing vulgar, it’s not that bad. But then I thought about all the stuff I had been entertained by:

• Adultery is completely accepted as normal
• Jokes about sex and body parts happen every few minutes
• A sprinkling of cursing
• Lots of drinking

I realized that all the things I didn’t want to be a part of were now a regular part of my life. So I turned it off and I’m not going back.

As a leader in the body of Christ, living above reproach is not an option to me. I know that the foundation of my ministry isn’t “strategy” or smooth words, but the lifestyle I live.

The Lord commands us to “Be holy, because I am holy” (Lev. 19:2, 1 Peter 1:16), although I still can’t say I understand this completely considering we are saved by grace. But Paul also says that “among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” (Eph. 5:3). Sometimes choices like this are hard for me to make, but they are important to make.

In youth ministry, I think these hard decisions are even more important. Every student I know watches me like a hawk. They probably know a lot more about me than I realize, and no matter what I tell them, my lowest standard somehow always turns into their highest standard. I’ve never seen “Do what I say, not what I do” work with teens.

So I often ask myself several questions: Are there standards in my life that I’ve let slip? I try ti picture the jokes I laugh at on TV, in movies and at home. Would I be comfortable sharing them in front of students or my pastor? Why or why not?