Archive for the ‘Youth Ministry Discipleship’ Category

I love my in-laws. In fact, we have a great relationship, and I’ve enjoyed not only marrying their beautiful daughter, but becoming a part of their family.

But every family has it’s quirks, and one of the Jones quirks is their toaster. It always makes me smile.

Toast is the most popular breakfast item in the Jones household, and they have one of those long toasters that holds four slices of bread at a time. The trick is getting it toasted just right.

Since time began, every morning after the toast pops up, Mom or Dad Jones would press the level down again because it’s never quite finished the first time. Then usually mid way through the 2nd cycle, they hit the cancel button and the toast comes out just right.

Why not just change the settings on the toaster to make it toast more the first time? Well, the toaster fits neatly in the corner by the stove, and in that position you never see the dial because it’s pressed up against the wall.

For a while they even forgot that dial existed, and when I discovered it I was forbidden to touch it. That’s because the dial is set to the lowest possible setting. The whole family has an ingrained habit of toasting everything twice. If anybody changes that dial and forgets to set it back, tomorrow morning the toast is going to get burned.

So when you talk to my wife about toasters, she thinks about her family’s toaster that she grew up with. In the same way, when she began to learn about her heavenly Father, she thought about her own father (fortunately she had a great example).

My point is this: Every family has it’s quirks. Do you know your students’ families? Have you taken the time to try to learn about their past?

In youth ministry, so much of our students’ perception of God is put through the “filter” of what they learn at home, whether good or bad. If we don’t take the time to learn what “filters” they see the world through, we may not know what they need so that the seed of God’s Word falls on good soil in their lives.

Take time to ask questions about your students’ family and past, and then listen. It’s an easy task, yet one with great rewards.

“But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.” Matthew 13:23

Students are surrounded by endless activities and under pressure from every angle to perform flawlessly, constantly.

What really works me up is when the institutions that provide all these activities are so focused on themselves, they don’t have the time, energy or focus to give students what they really need.

And youth groups aren’t immune to this institutional selfishness.

Read the rest of this entry »

Girls are under incredible pressure to do everything and be everything. Why do we put so much pressure on them? How can youth pastors respond?

The Youth Worker Journal posted this great discussion on the Supergirl Syndrome: Practically Perfect in Every Way? Check it out!

There’s a movement in this country that’s making our work in youth ministry very interesting. This movement is trying to make relativism and multiculturalism the norm, demonizing fundamental Christianity for its claim to absolute truth.

With more and more people preaching that there are many paths to God, it’s amazing to me to see so many religions fold under the pressure.

Forgive this over-generalization, but you don’t see many other faiths putting up a big stink about absolute truth. It’s becoming the norm to encourage spiritual interest and explore “faith” in any sense of the word, but it’s becoming very unpopular to suggest that any one religion can claim the title of “truth.”

Nobody seems to truly believe in their faiths deeply enough to stand on their holy books and say, “this is what I believe.” Nobody, that is, except for some Christians. (I say “some” because many Christians have definitely gone the route of relativism.)

Different people, they encounter god differently, and if some people at a certain stage in their life need to focus strictly on Christianity, then that might be appropriate for them, as long as they don’t take anything away from those of us who feel differently.

Different people do not–cannot–encounter God through false belief systems. It’s doesn’t happen! If you think you’re encountering God through a seance, meditation, yoga class or a prayer session, and Jesus is not at the center of it, that experience has nothing to do with the true God.

What really gets me is what this quote implies, and what I think many people believe: That Christianity is a domineering, elitist religion because we’re not willing to fold and say what we believe is just one option on the path to enlightenment.

Your students probably have friends that openly and confidently tell them that Christianity is just one way to get to God, and criticize them if they don’t believe that. I guarantee your public school is filled with students that sincerely believe that they can figure out whatever they want to believe, and that to them, that is “truth.”

And your students aren’t protected just because they go to church a couple times a week. Some of them are probably even afraid to admit that they are followers of Christ, or that they believe there is only one way to heaven. Some students in your youth group are still deciding whether they believe that there is only one way to God.

This is a tough time to be a Christian, and it’s only getting tougher. Youth ministry must:

• Teach absolute truth. There is only one way to God. The truth of scripture is 100% true. Other “truths” are not.
• Focus on worldview. Our paradigm of existence determines everything else we believe.
• Get dirty spending quality time with students. We must listen to truly understand the journey our students are in, and then carefully respond with questions and challenges to help them discover the wonderful reality of Christ.
• Pray!!! Faith is not something we can muster up in our students. We need the Holy Spirit to work through us and even in spite of us.

“What are you doing to disciple your students?”

“We have a youth group meeting every week as well as a Bible study on Sundays.”

I’m going to state an opinion of mine here. You are more than welcome to disagree with me, but I wanted to warn you first that I’m going to be brutally honest.

Discipleship does not equal a meeting. Discipleship was not intended to happen “one crowd at a time.”

I’ve asked youth pastors all over the country about what they do to disciple teenagers. Few mention efforts to get to know students personally, to build strong relationships with them and even with their parents. That’s usually an afterthought. Most youth pastors list off their weekly meeting schedule.

What if we went back to the basics, set aside all our perceptions, and looked at the model of discipleship we see in the New Testament? The model of discipleship I have gleaned from scripture includes a few things, like living life together, growing strong, intimate friendships, and in reality, only discipling a few people at a time.

Examples of Discipleship
Jesus spoke many sermons and did many miracles, but when it comes down to it, the people He touched the most were His 12 disciples. He didn’t create a program, schedule weekly meetings or even write a curriculum (all good things, mind you). He lived His life with His disciples, and they gave the rest of their lives for Him.

I am refreshed every time I read one of Paul’s letters to his friends because it hints of the deep, intimate relationships he had built with those he writes to. He writes to Timothy as an older brother, and he writes to the churches with sincerity and deep longing to be with them again.

The discipleship model I see in scripture is one of strong personal relationships. It’s slower, dirtier, and takes a bit more effort than just planning another meeting. And you might spend a lot of time investing in a student that later turns their back on you. That hurts.

Intentional Ministry
What sealed the deal for me was realizing the impact of the sermons I preached at youth group. 90% of my students couldn’t remember the topic of the sermon even a week later. Yet a huge majority of the time I spent on “youth ministry” was to prepare that sermon.

Meetings are important and we can’t stop teaching truth to our youth groups. Let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water. But let’s also be honest about what really makes a difference in the lives of our students.

I love anybody that is willing to take the plunge and wear that name badge that says “youth pastor.” I just hope that some of these thoughts about discipleship might help you focus your limited time and energy on what will have the greatest impact on your students.

If you haven’t seen this video of Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent already, you’ve probably been hiding under a rock somewhere. They estimate it’s been watched online more than 100 million times in the last week!

(And can you believe YouTube couldn’t figure out how to make money from it?)

It’s an amazing video with a good story and a great reminder: Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Even though Susan might look simple and “frumpy” (not my wording!), she truly blew the audience and the judges away with her absolutely amazing voice.

For me this begs the question, what gold is hiding in your students? Do you see the God-given potential in each of them, or have you judged some books by their covers?

YouTube won’t let me embed the video so the best I can offer is this link. Be sure to check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

I once had the opportunity to work with a youth group that had a solid team of committed adult leaders, but they were very worried about the youth because  nobody would pay attention during the message.

So they had come up with a solid game plan: Adults were posted at each exit to keep students from wandering off, and several adult leaders would sit directly behind the group. As soon as anyone started goofing off during the sermon, one of them would step in and either get them to quite down, or take them out of the service.

Before and after the service, the adults hung out with each other, waiting for their duties to begin.

Extreme measures, and unfortunately, they didn’t work. But what really broke my heart was that these mature Christian leaders, each with a huge heart for students, missed the biggest opportunity to impact students by building relationships before and after the service.

Every possible social scenario eventually happens before or after your youth group, right in your church. From PDA (Public Displays of Affection) to breakups and ackward moments to angry yelling fights, it’s all going to come up eventually. But every one of these moments, big or small, is a priceless ministry opportunity.

Do you ever see a student handle a situation and just wish you could give them a little advice? Maybe they didn’t say “hi” to the new kid and you had an idea on how the could have done that. Or maybe they tried to challenge a friend in their walk with God but ended up spewing judgement on them, and you wanted to encourage them with some ideas on how to be gentler next time.

It’s time to just do it! Here’s how:

• After the fact, find a chance to pull them aside.
• Start with a few questions. Ask about their day first, and ask about what just happened. “Hey, I saw you were trying to encourage Tim over there. Way to go! I was wondering what happened?”
• Listen!
• Share your advice, but don’t use commanding words like, “should” and “you need to.” Instead, offer suggestions and ask for their input. Join them in the journey.

It’s easy, so don’t hold it in anymore. This is where youth ministry’s rubber meets the road. Take advantage of those teachable moments.

I’ve seen something happen in literally hundreds of families. Parents have all the best intentions for their children. They want to raise them well and give them a great future.

But kids are hard to please. They whine, cry and complain–and above all that makes good parents feel guilty. So what do we do? We give them what they want.

By the time they’re teenagers, all they know is getting what they want from their parents. They’re experts at entertaining themselves and doing whatever it takes to be happy. They don’t get it all, of course, but they sure do get plenty of it. Most of their life so far has been centered around getting what they want. And they obviously don’t know much about sacrifice–suffering for the sake of others.

I’m curious for your feedback. Have you seen this same trend? How does this affect your youth ministry?